thee best deception (best_deception5) wrote in bigirls_il,
thee best deception

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i could still be ruthless if you let me

problem. 2 girls. which one. hmmm.

it wasn't bothering me that much, but now it is. story.. i about august i met jenny. her and i got really deep really fast and started dating. that was my first girlfriend. i got dumb and broke up with her for many DUMB reasons. then we just didn't talk for awhile. in the past 3 weeks i've called her a few times and told her that i really miss her and still love her and want to give it one more try and she's wanted no part of it. one night we were on the internet and told her again and she said she was willing to start over. later i read her journal and this is what it said: "I talked to Lin last night. She wants to try to work shit out. I don't know though. She and I won't work out. I know it but I might give it another shot. What's it going to hurt?" awhile after her and i broke up i was looking for someone to be with so my friend ashley introduced me to brittany at a football game. i thought she was gorgeous, but she was dating someone already. so i didn't think much of it then. now her and her girlfriend split and she's interested in me. i've talked to her like 3 times and i like her and she tells ashley she's really interested in me, but i don't know what's going on.

right now i can't drive cause i have to pay the insurance on my new car before my dad will let me have it. so until then seeing either of them wouldn't be often. i like to see my girl every day, or every other day. should i take the time and heal old wounds and make things right with jenny? should i take the time and get to know someone new and get a different experience with brittany? OR should i go the friends route with both of them until i know enough to chose and have a way to see them?

my problem is i have no patience. i want things to happen NOW! dangit. and i really want to be with someone. i want to love someone. and i'm tired of not having it. do i sound really dumb? do i annalyze all these things too much? talk to me. lol
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